Why Do We Get Stuck In Life?

Ever feel like you’re stuck in life? I have felt that. Unable to move forward and unwilling to go backwards is a difficult emotional place to be. But what keeps a person stuck? There may be several possible answers, but I think a simple one is fear.

Fear is a powerful emotion all people experience. Fear can protect us when we recognize the risks. Fear also encourages us to think before acting. Yet fear can also be a prison. Fear can keep us from moving forward in life when it begins to control our decisions. Fear can stop a person from becoming who we need to be! Fear can convince a person that it is safer to not move, to not change, to just remain. And that is where feeling stuck comes from.

Fear often begins with the unknown. We can fear failure, rejection, disappointment, change, or losing something or someone. Sometimes we are afraid to make a decision, so we don’t. We remain in unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling jobs, stagnant routines or situations. A bad situation can feel safer than trying a new one. The problem is that avoiding fear does not make fear disappear. Instead, avoidance often makes fear stronger.

A person who repeatedly allows fear to make decisions may slowly become stuck. Opportunities are passed by because they seem too risky. Dreams are postponed because the timing does not feel right. Relationships may be avoided due to the possibility of being hurt. Even simple experiences that could bring happiness can be rejected because they require stepping outside a comfortable routine.

This pattern steals life of its richness. When fear causes us to withdraw from life, we may become spectators rather than participants. We watch other people take chances, pursue dreams, and experience new things while telling ourselves that someday we will do it too.

Moving beyond fear does not mean becoming fearless. Courage is not the absence of fear! Courage is the willingness to move forward while being afraid. But you may think, “I’m not Superman. I can’t do those things!” This is only half true. No one is Superman. Superman doesn’t need courage. Be honest! If you knew that you could never fail, would anything ever be exciting? Would life ever feel fun? How would you be able to celebrate a victory? The answer is a resounding NO.

The first step is to recognize what fear is really saying.

Ask yourself these questions. What am I afraid will happen? What is my evidence? Am I imagining the worst possible outcome? What if I attempt it and it fails? Can I try again? Can I learn from it? How is this fear keeping me from living my life?

The next step is tiny.

Major life changes do not always have to begin with dramatic decisions. A person can begin by making one phone call, having one difficult conversation, trying one new activity, or setting one healthy boundary. Each small action provides evidence that fear does not have to be in control.

Next is to change how we think about failure.

It is a myth to think that mistakes equal failure. Mistakes provide valuable information, wisdom, and major growth. Sometimes the decision that initially appears to be a failure becomes the experience that teaches us what we truly want or need.

Lastly, it is important to remember that life is happening in the here and now. Waiting until every fear disappears may mean waiting forever. There will always be uncertainty, and there will always be reasons to hit the pause button. The goal is not to eliminate fear but to refuse to let fear determine the boundaries of our lives.

Moving forward begins with one decision to stop allowing fear to make every choice. Courage grows each time we take a small step. As it is said: Life begins on the other side of fear! Don’t let fear keep you stuck in a rut. Sometimes asking for help is all it takes to move out of the rut and get your life back on track.