WILL B.
When I think about the people I care about most, (which seems to be very few these days) what comes to mind isn’t grand gestures or dramatic declarations.
It’s the small things, like listening when they’ve had a hard day, noticing when they’re quiet, celebrating their little victories.
That’s why I hate indifference most of all when talking about someone’s character or how they choose to interact with those in their life. Indifference is choosing not to notice, not to care, not to respond. It’s not just the absence of attention; it’s a silent message that says, you don’t matter to me. By this, I mean either love, hate or like. If I had a sword I would name it indifference because indifference cuts deeper than any sword including the sharpest sword of them all, the tongue.
I’ve seen how indifference can cut deeper than anger. Anger at least shows a person still cares enough to react, someone doesn’t get angry with me or you unless they care and there is the possibility of repairing what made them angry. Indifference, on the other hand, feels like being invisible.
Imagine sharing something important, something that took courage to say, and the person you love shrugs or changes the subject. That moment lingers. It makes you question your worth, not just in the relationship but in yourself.
Relationships thrive on trust, and trust is built when we show up for each other. When someone you love turns away with indifference, that trust cracks; for me, it says they don’t care. I remember a time when a friend confided in me about a struggle, and I was distracted, half‑listening. Later, they told me how alone they felt in that moment. It was a big learning moment in that friendship for me, and I took it seriously.
I find myself on the other end of indifference of late and it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t care greatly about this person. When I tell them I’m depressed or things are not good for me around holidays, my painful confidence is met with the sound of crickets. I go out of my way to be attentive to their problems and help when asked and just listen when that’s called for. Some, even myself at one time or another, would tell me to cut the person out of my life, but it’s not as easy when strong feelings are involved.
What makes indifference especially cruel is that it erases presence. To be ignored by someone you love is to feel unseen, even when they’re right beside you. That kind of loneliness is heavy. It can lead to resentment, sadness, or even a quiet withdrawal where the person stops trying to connect at all.
It’s all the harder for me during the holidays because at every turn, function or event, I am reminded of what I don’t have. My two brothers, two nieces and a couple of friends are all too far, both distancewise and emotionally.
Our family had very little love and was not shown how a family is supposed to be with each other. You could say I learned at an early age about indifference from my dad and mom, who divorced when I was 5. Both seemed indifferent to my brothers and me.
In the end, indifference is not neutral. It’s a choice that communicates disinterest, and it leaves scars that are often harder to heal. Love asks for presence, attentiveness, and care. Without those, love withers. If affection is the heart of a relationship, then attentiveness is the blood that keeps the heart going. Indifference is the killer of love and relationships. It’s difficult to write hard truths but I always have felt since I started writing that if I can get through or help even just one person then the embarrassment I feel about being so open is worth it.
If you are indifferent to someone in your life, please stop or cut them loose, you’re causing real damage with real scars that will make it hard for that person in their next relationship.
This is Will B saying, love those in your life, get angry with them when you need to be, listen to them if you care, be present when you are with them.
Be a friend to your friends or do them the great service of not being in their lives.