What If ?

When Sawyer was in kindergarten, the kids went to school dressed in their Halloween costumes. His big sister woke up excited and ready to get to school to show off her dress, watch movies, and eat as much candy as possible. But Sawyer was worried. He had a long list of concerns that morning: What if people don’t know that I’m a pirate?

What if there’s only chocolate at the Halloween party?

What if no one lets me say something at the door tonight when we go trick or treating?

What if I don’t get to school on time?

I have to admit that by the time I got him out the door, I was getting pretty tired of his never-ending imaginary problems. As Chad drove away with the kids, I prayed that Sawyer’s day would get better and that he would let go of his worries and enjoy himself.

I couldn’t help but smile when I think about how God must get pretty tired of my what-ifs. Some mornings (and evenings and afternoons) I seem to have an endless list, and many of my concerns are no more earth-shattering than my five year old’s.: What if I gave a bad impression when I said that?

What if she is upset with me?

What if I’m making too many mistakes as a parent?

What if I can’t find anything to wear?

What if I can’t get it all done in time?

I hope that when Sawyer worries these days, he feels that gentle comforting of the Holy Spirit that often comes to me when I am reminded that I’m worrying about a bunch of things that haven’t happened. My mother calls that “borrowing trouble.”

I’m kind of an expert at it. But, when my mind is plagued with fear and doubt and worry and I find myself dreading a bunch of things that will probably never happen, I can cling to things that I know are true: God loves me. God is in control of everything.

Even if the worst happens, God will still take care of me.

God’s word tells me not to worry.

God gives me strength to accomplish things that I can’t do in my own power.

When we worry, we can ask God to help us stop. And even though my brain would love to dwell on the negative, God shows me how that’s so bad for my heart and my spirit. When I pray for help, I can begin to lay my what-ifs aside for His glory.

When Sawyer got to school, he quickly learned that most of his concerns were no cause for worry at all. I pray that now, as a junior in high school, he is learning to trust God with his little worries before he has bigger things to worry about. And to my big and little worries, I say go away. My God is bigger than my imagination. And He’s bigger than reality, too. So, why worry?