He Never Stops Teaching Me
I’ve taken on a new job as a customer service representative for a boutique. It’s owned by my dear friend who took a chance and hired her buddy who’s been a stayat- home mom for over 20 years, and it’s been a great learning experience. The person I’ve mainly learned about is me, but probably not in the ways you might think. I’ve learned about myself when I see customers panic and fire off an email before they know what the situation is. In the way that they sometimes come on with all their guns blazing and then quickly learn that everything’s going to be ok.
It’s so relatable, because I do the same thing. Sometimes it’s external and everybody gets to see me panic. And sometimes it’s internal and I tremble on the inside and try to work everything out as if it all depends on me. I’ve been surprised by how much I recognize myself in customers who are, at the bottom line, afraid. They’re afraid things aren’t going to work out. They’re afraid that this small problem is a bigger deal than it actually is. Or they’re afraid of something that’s a much bigger deal, and they’re taking it out on this little ordering issue. I really understand it. I, too, am afraid. And often emotions like anger, frustration, or the way we can sometimes yell into the phone or speed type a scorching email, really boil down to the fact that we don’t have a handle on our fear and, therefore, we don’t have a handle on our anger.
Jesus talked a lot about fear and worry, and as human beings we understand why He did. We are fearful creatures. I know we don’t like to admit that, but we are. Jesus knows it. Why try to hide it? Instead of cowering behind emotions like anger or frustration, instead of firing off those emails like I, too, have been prone to do at different points in life, we should come out of the shadows and ask the Lord to carry this burden of fear for us. There’s freedom in letting go of fear and the anger that often accompanies it. Jesus is strong enough to shoulder it all. Imagine less panic, fewer bouts of internal turmoil, and more joy.
Who would have thought that a job in customer service would bring so much clarity about the fear in my own heart? God is always willing to teach me about myself, and every revelation makes me love Him more. He is the answer to all the fear, all the anger, and all the things that make us write those fiery emails. He never stops working on me, and I’m grateful.