Will B. Making hard choices
It seems I find myself alone with my dogs again.
I broke it off with my fiancée after much thinking and soul-searching. She is a tough-as-nails lady who is doing amazing raising her three kids and has many wonderful attributes. I just felt the relationship didn’t offer what I needed most, coupled with a long distance that didn’t help much either.
I handled it emotionally about 80 percent better than I did when my marriage ended. I feel it was probably the most adult decision I had ever made in my life and also very difficult. I still have love in my heart for her and her kids but to be honest at my age and the fact I never had kids most likely weighed heavy in my decision to break it off. I want what is best for her and her kids and I just feel she could probably do much better than me for a father for her kids and on my end, I need to be higher up on the list of priorities for the person I will spend the last season of my life with. Is it selfish? I don’t know. I do know I don’t have an abundance of time left at my age and want to find someone with the same interests and goals as I have and will devote as much love and time to a relationship as I plan to.
Life isn’t always easy when it comes to making choices and sometimes, we have to make hard choices when it comes to the best interest of those we care about. I don’t care to be alone; it is very hard emotionally but I don’t ever live a fake life and believe in being honest with myself. Honesty and self-reflection are really the only way to grow, never the easiest way for sure. I will put my relationships in God’s hands again and trust his plan for my life.
Other news in my life is the loss of one of my dogs, Jack. I only had him for a year or so but can say I was never closer to any other pet I have ever had. I am not sure why I was so close to him. He was a blonde lab, the sweetest pup for sure, and so smart as well. He was the first dog I had that also was very vocal and the previous little girl who owned him taught him how to hug. It was the most endearing quality about Jack. He took a big piece of my heart when he died. I still have Shelby the wonder pup, a mix of blue heeler and German Shepherd. She is very sweet but also very aggressive to wildlife, always coming home having killed something and eating it on the front porch. Her boyfriend is a skunk named Pepe Le Pew. She comes home smelling of skunk about twice a month, haha! My new pup who was given to me close after Jack dying – which helped me so much – is an American Bully Brindle. He is less than a year old and so very needy, which I don’t mind one bit. He is full of playful puppy energy and very loving as well. This is Will B saying, sometimes life is about making hard choices. Be honest with yourself and make the choice that will be best for you.