Will B. Attracting Opposites

After reading Melissa Edgington’s weekly article from “Your Mom Has A Blog” entitled “A tale of two-bathroom drawers” I noticed a lot of similarities on her marriage and mine.

I have been married a little over twenty years and we had our very own tale of two drawers so to speak. When first I met my wife, I was a neat freak and everything had to have a place and a purpose. My wife felt differently and demonstrated this it seemed as much as possible.

It took me quite some time to bend like bamboo in the wind in order to not be broken like an oak tree in a tornado. I sometimes like to kid my wife that she broke me of all my bad habits--like never leaving clothes on the floor, a dirty dish in the sink or piles of clutter here and there.

I am not sure of the old saying that opposites attract but in our case, it must be. Over the years, we have both broken each other of good and bad habits. My wife doesn’t leave clutter as much and I try to leave a little clutter here and there. I have learned it is okay to leave a dish in the sink to be washed later and that leaving some magazines laying around for a day won’t make the world stop. turning.

I can only bend so much because a mess, clutter or things not put up causes me to stress out. Not sure why but I have been that way since I was young. The same with having things I do not use. If I have things I don’t use on a regular basis chances, are I will just get rid of it. Maybe because when I was a young whipper snapper my Dad had so much junk, as I called it, many a weekends were wasted going through and moving it around. I could never understand having a two-car garage and having it completely filled with stuff you could hardly walk through, much less park a car in the garage.

I believe along with love, trust and honesty a lasting healthy marriage must have compromise. It might be one of the most important things to a great marriage right after having God in your marriage and a healthy church family. The same could be said for friendships as well.

It comes down to the fact that we are all different and what bothers me may not bother her and vice versa. So, empathy and compromise are very important. One thing you can control is how you react to a situation and in most cases, that is knowing that people are who they are and you most likely will not change them in any major way unless they choose to change. It is best to love or like someone for who they are, or move on.

Over the years we have found that happy middle ground is comfortable for us both. I have learned to ignore how she keeps her side of things and just worry about my side of things. We are both happier for it.

This is Will B. quoting Bruce Lee “Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”