Will B.

I recently read a social media post, kind of a trending post really, that stated in general that the post’s author would always be there for their kid. Need rent money? Paid. Car broke down? Use mine ‘til we get yours fixed. Get in trouble? I’ll bail you out.

I know my views might rub some the wrong way but for me this is just the opposite of what kids need growing up. I am not saying it’s not good to help them out at times but to bail someone out every time won’t teach them to stand on their own two feet or to fight to recover from a bad situation. Most importantly, it will not teach them about consequences for their actions, good or bad.

When I was growing up, my older brother got everything handed to him on a silver platter, including getting bailed out of one incident after another. For many years, that didn’t turn out well for him: not learning consequences had serious life-altering effects.

He is doing amazing now and I was no angel growing up. I had to pay for everything I wanted, including for the bad choices I made. I’m glad I did that as it made my brush with the law very brief and I learned early on there can be consequences for my actions that I most definitely did not care for.

Wanting to obtain my driver’s license at 15 to get away from an abusive father led me to riding my ten-speed roughly 40 or 50 miles a day for an entire summer. I’d wake up at 5 AM to ride 15 miles for an early shift at McDonalds and then ride another 15 miles to drivers’ ed and to get back home. By the end of that summer, I had my license and enough money to buy a motorcycle. It was an important lesson in learning how to stand on my own.

Still, I’ve had friends and co-workers who left their parents’ homes for the first time who didn’t know how to cook or even to wash their clothes. Going out in the world without having learned the basics would scare me.

The point is we do no one a great service everytime we come to their rescue when they stumble. It’s good to help others, but certain lessons need to be learned as well. I’m hoping one day to have the courage to really share my life experience, which might help young people if they heard it. For now, though, I’ll keep letting it out a little at a time.

This is Will B saying that it’s okay to help someone up when they fall. But if they can walk on their own, you don’t need to carry them home.