Taylor - Made
As a mom of two daughters, ages 14 and 12, I struggle with trying to understand their emotional breakdowns, hyper-activity, their highs and lows and their strange hobbies. I often wonder if I was this tough to understand at their age.
Nothing in life really prepares a parent for the teenage years, and every teenager is different. My two daughters are complete opposites; one is extremely shy, obedient and overall a quiet teenager; the other is short-tempered, easily bored and it takes an act of Congress to get her to stop talking. Regardless of their personality differences I still try to understand the challenges that each one of them faces. I have to realize as their parent when to push and when to let it go. I have to push my oldest to be nice to her sister, push when to be quiet and push her to not argue with adults. I have to push my youngest to conversate with people, push her to be more outgoing and push her to clean her room. But sometimes I push for the wrong reasons because I want them to be more like the other one, instead of letting their individual personalities shine. I find myself struggling to not tell them “Well, your sister does this” or “your sister does that.”
Although they are polar opposites they do have one common ground, though--their concern for the well-being of other humans, animals and the earth in general. So, instead of taking one of their flaws and trying to force it to conform to the strength of the other, I try to change the focus all together, when it is appropriate, to the common ground that they share. This especially works when they are at each other’s throats.
Raising opposites is not easy. Just when I think I have parenting figured out with one of them, I have to change my course of action for the other.
I try to show them that being an adult does not mean always being perfect, but it does mean that I can admit to my mistakes. I’m just as flawed in some areas as they are. I just hope they bear with me during the remainder of their teenage years as I strive to understand them.