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My Nickel’s Worth

Forgiveness.  When I think of this word, many things come to mind.  Hurt feelings.  Betrayal.  Selfishness.  Loss.  In my lifetime, I have been faced with bullying, criticism, and those who are just plain mean. My dad is a pastor, and he has modeled forgiveness for me.  I have been amazed at how he has shown grace and love to some of the most evil of people, always choosing to forgive.  This is not to say that we need to keep people in our lives who are trying to harm us.  Sometimes we need to remove toxic people from our lives in order to be in a good place ourselves.  I have experienced this firsthand.  But, removing someone from your life does not always require forgivenessbut we should and must find ways to forgive.

As a Christian, it is important to forgive others as we have been forgiven.  I realize not everyone embraces my spiritual beliefs, but in general, forgiveness is a good practice.  Holding on to anger can make your blood pressure higher, give you anxiety, and rob you of your present-day joy.  I wish forgiveness were easy.  It’s not.  It is one of the most difficult things to do, depending on how much you have been hurt.  Nonetheless, letting go of the anger is valuable—to your health, ability to experience joy, and your overall spirituality.  

As we head into the holiday season, perhaps seeing some relatives who have caused us great pain and grief, just give yourself enough distance to be safewhile at the same time allowing your heart to heal.  Move forward. Admit to any fault which may be your own.  Let go of little things.  If I have learned anything this year, it is that life is short—and we never know when our breath will be our last.  Why waste another minute holding on to anger?

For me, forgiveness means moving forward with my own life--not putting the anger on a shelf for seeds of bitterness to grow, but it means realizing that the other person’s actions and behaviors no longer affect me, and that being the best version of myself, in spite of the actions or words of others, is what gives me purpose and joy.  I am choosing to let God deal with my enemies, and I am choosing to forgive as He has forgiven me.