Existential
The intention of this weekly column is to support living a better life in Olney or in any small town context. So the intention is existential: suggesting ways to optimize the meaning, purpose and value of life here.
One of my most valued lessons growing up in Olney was the importance of relationships - between individuals, within families and groups and among groups. I’m sure I’m not the only person here who has fond memories of the summer of ’78, when our community came together to solve a serious water shortage by building a pipeline with borrowed pipe over 15 miles in 115 degree heat. The news made it to The New York Times and even was praised in our nation’s capitol.
This kind of volunteerism is one of the main things that makes small town living so awesome. Existentialists recognize how volunteering creates purpose and meaning, increasing value in life. And in the case of the pipeline, all the volunteer work actually saved lives So do our local heroes, the volunteer firefighters and first responders. During the Campbell Fire, the community showed up to support them with water, sports drinks and all kinds of generosity. It was such a heart-warming and life-enriching event to be a participant in this event. We all know we would be lost without these heroes and the circle of giving continues as we express our gratitude with actions and donations.
Volunteering is very therapeutic for depression. As there’s always someone who is worse off, helping them makes us feel better, and indirectly, it’s a way to help ourselves.
That said, there is no obligation to do so. Don’t force it and only help in ways that you feel called to, from the heart. If you aren’t feeling it, there might be a good reason. We don’t want to keep giving to someone who either isn’t reciprocating or isn’t paying it forward to others. That would be enabling and unhealthy, for both us and the other person. So it’s important to follow your inspiration when being generous with your time, attention or donations.
Gratitude is also therapeutic and can inspire acts of altruism. That’s where “paying it forward” comes in. Sometimes when we’re grateful for how someone helps us, we’re not able to give back to them, but we can always help the next person.
Many recognize how simple acts of kindness both brighten others’ day as well as our own.
I’m so grateful for the work I do. It’s such a privilege to be there to support folks when they need someone to talk to, whether they’re just having a rough day, they’ve lost a loved one or they don’t know if they can keep going. People sometimes express gratitude for the phone session and I get to share how it’s mutual: their reaching out and receiving help gives my life more meaning.
Who knows what the future holds. I’ve heard reports that this summer is the coolest predicted for the near future. Weather appears to continue to get more extreme, with colder winters as well. Whether we agree on these forecasts or the causes of possible weather changes, we can still be there for each other, no matter what, making life better.
We can all take turns being each other’s heroes.
Agree? Disagree? Questions? All feedback welcome! Email YourBestHereOlney@gmail.com. Feel free to make suggestions if there’s a topic you’d like to hear more about. All feedback will remain confidential (unless limited by law). Mona Bernhardt, LCSW, who grew up in Olney, works to alleviate suffering and set people free.