An Anxiety Filled Love

Ugh. Anxiety. Erratic, invasive and puzzling. Not just for those who possess it, but also for the ones who love those that do. Loving someone with anxiety can be a difficult experience.

I have a close relationship with someone who has terrible anxiety, so trust me when I say telling them there’s nothing to worry about does not help. I’ve been there, tried that. If it was so simple for them to just be told ‘not to worry,’ don’t you think they would’ve quit worrying a long time ago? If I tell you not to think about a neon green monkey with a top hat, what are you instinctively going to think about? Telling someone not to worry about their anxiety is just going to make them think more about it. They know that their anxiety isn’t easy or even logical at times and knowing that makes it even harder for them to live with it.

I have been guilty in the past for telling someone to pretty much ‘grin and bear it’ or ‘get over it.’ By saying these things, all I was doing was telling them that they were doing something wrong, which made it worse. You can’t tell someone allergic to bees to just stop being allergic to bees. It doesn’t work like that. Same goes for someone battling anxiety. It’s part of them and something they need to learn to overcome on their own or with help from a professional.

The best thing you can do is to be compassionate and calm. And most importantly, just be there for them.

I’ve noticed people who have anxiety, no matter the form, are filled with courage. Just when they think they can’t keep going, they do anyways and move forward with their anxiety. It is beyond impressive. Imagine trying to go through a normal day, but with a constant fear. I can only imagine.

Often, I wanted to give advice on how to overcome their anxiety. I’m a problem-solver and whenever faced with an issue, I automatically try to fix it. In this case, loving someone with anxiety has taught me that they are perfectly fine the way they are, and I don’t need to fix them.

Unconditional love, compassion and communication are some of the most important things you can do to support someone battling with anxiety.

I believe it takes a strong person to live with anxiety, but it takes an even stronger person to love them.