Feeling

Something I very rarely talk about is my battle with depression.

I have been battling it since I can remember, even as far back as 6 or 7 years old. It’s embarrassing to talk about but I feel it is such an important subject that people with it are afraid to talk about.

For someone who doesn’t suffer from a chemical imbalance that causes depression I will explain a very small part of what it’s like: Imagine being at the apex of your professional career, at a time when you are surrounded by people who really care about you, your spiritual walk with Jesus is in that perfect spot, you have a significant other who really cares for you and life has never been in a sweeter spot. Life is perfect.

Okay, got that? Now with all that going on you, for no reason whatsoever, are completely overwhelmed with sadness, hopelessness, and wanting to just die all the time.

That is what is a little sample of life battling depression.

When I write my columns, it’s always from my heart or experiences so it’s always a little embarrassing.

I try to write them then forget about them.

Then why do I write my column, you might wonder. Because I honestly think if what I write can help just one person get through the day then it’s worth it.

You might have seen me acting a little off lately. I just have told everyone when they ask that I am sick but in reality I decided to detox off my depression meds, which are very strong and hard to come off of.

I decided to detox off them because everything in my life is so perfect right now and it has me wondering, do I really need to be on these meds?

This train of thought is exactly what gets me into trouble; I think everything is great and so I decide to quit taking medicine, when in actuality the meds are what make everything in my life seem normal.

I do the same thing with my Ankylosing Spondylitis, psoriatic arthritis, diabetes, etc.

In the end I pay a toll for this and try to get back on treatment as soon as possible.

Depression is caused by different things but a chemical imbalance that causes severe depression can only be corrected with medicine and work on knowing myself and what to do during peak depressions.

We are not sad, we can’t just snap out of it and, all the cliché things people say when someone is sad around them are like little cuts with knives on our psyche.

My meds finally ran their course and are out of my system and I find myself back at the beginning of that vicious circle where so many of us find ourselves, who have depression or anxiety.

Do I go back on the meds and experience a life of evenness, no highs or lows, or try to struggle with no meds, having a life of incredible highs and crashing lows?

This is really embarrassing to talk about but I feel it is such an important topic because so many suffer in silence not knowing that help is out there, you just have to take that first brave step of broaching the subject with a doctor.

This is Will B saying, if you’re struggling please reach out to a doctor or someone you trust.

Treatment really can make a huge impact on your life.