To Married Men on Valentine’s Day
Chad and I have come to an understanding of Valentine’s Day. It took us quite a few years to work through my love for and his disdain for the big heartcapped, chocolate-covered, balloon-tipped, flowerfilled extravaganza. I know how much most men hate being told what to do. And, I suppose that’s what Valentine’s Day feels like to a man–like all of the stores are forcing him to show love for his woman. And, maybe that’s what it is, just a stupid, commercialized, crazy dumb idea of a day that tells men they must spend money on things they find cheesy.
But so what if it is?
When you were dating, chances are you used any available opportunity to let your then-girlfriend know what she meant to you. You sent her love notes for no reason. You sent flowers to tell her “I love you.” You called her at all times of the day to hear her voice and remind her that you were hers and she was yours.
And, there’s something you should know: that’s the reason she was eagerly waiting to be alone with you, so you could steal a kiss. That’s why she couldn’t keep her hands off you. Because you made her feel special, important, and let her know that you were thinking about her at all times.
So, once you are married and you start resenting Valentine’s Day, what kind of message do you think that sends to your wife? I can tell you–it hurts her feelings. It makes her feel like you don’t want to do nice things for her. It makes her feel like even if you buy her a card or a gift that you’re doing it under duress and that you don’t feel like being sweet to her.
Chad and I figured out about six years into our marriage that Valentine’s Day is fun if you do something small for each other that is kind and simple. I’m not talking diamonds here. But, why NOT take this totally obvious opportunity to let your wife know how great she is? And why not do it with a smile on your face?
I think men are incredible people. You guys carry the world’s weight on your shoulders, and there’s no area of life where people aren’t demanding things of you. But, don’t let Valentine’s Day be about you not wanting to be pushed around by Walmart. Make it about how awesome your wife is, and buy her a card and a silly stuffed gorilla. What’s the harm in it? I can guarantee your marriage will be better for it.
I will be helping Tammy out at Olney Floral on Valentine’s Day. It would make my day if all of you men showed up in there and let us help you show your wife how great she is. She has given up plenty for you. Maybe dreams and ambitions, maybe her body as it made your babies, maybe she traded in a picture of her future that she had clung to since she was a little girl so that she would have the future that she is now living with you. Show her that you haven’t missed all that, on Valentine’s Day and beyond. You are blessed.