Hidden Harms: Spiritually Protecting Our Kids
Parents these days are obsessed with trying to make sure we don’t allow anything in our kids’ lives that might harm them physically or mentally. If it seems unsafe, we keep our kids away. It seems like a no-brainer: if it might hurt them, we don’t want it around.
But, all too often we overlook the things in our kids’ lives that may seem harmless, but are actually spiritually damaging. This week we’ll look at two ways that we Christian parents may be spiritually harming our children.
1. Allowing them to have unsupervised access to TVs and computers. The people who make television shows (even kids’ shows), movies, and websites do not care about your child. They likely don’t share the same values as you do. What is on television today would’ve been rated R when we were children, yet we allow our kids unlimited access to programs that actively teach them the opposite of God’s truth. Even the programs for tweens and older children on Channels like Disney and Nick are filled with boyfriend/girlfriend drama at the very least, and gender identity issues and other much too adult topics in some cases. We have to be aware that these programs are designed to form a worldview in our children that Hollywood finds good and acceptable. This worldview is not in line with Christianity– not at all! I’m not saying that we should keep our kids in a bubble, but if we’re going to allow them to watch TV, it should be in our living rooms, where we can see what they’re watching and we can talk to them about what they are seeing that is contrary to the Bible.
Giving kids unsupervised internet access is not just a bad idea–it is extremely dangerous to their spiritual health. Pornographers are desperate to hook your child on their industry. Children can accidentally stumble upon pornography (thanks to the sneaky ways of the industry), and once they see those images, they can’t unsee them. Their mind is suddenly awakened to the fascinating world of pornography. Other times they are introduced to pornography by friends. Cell phones are a major source of pornography exposure. All of our kids’ devices and computers should be equipped with good filters and internet accountability software. We can’t assume that our kids “would never do that.” The world is a tempting place, and pornography is destroying families as I type this. We must be vigilant in doing all we can to keep our children from falling into this sin trap. It’s so easy to purchase simple filters. Let’s not help our children take on a lifelong sin struggle like pornography addiction. We may feel like we can trust our kids, but we cannot trust the industry that is waiting at every turn to draw them in.
2. Arguing in front of them. Husbands and wives argue. It’s a fact of life. It happens. But, when arguments arise, we should make every effort to wait until the children aren’t around before we “discuss.” This is partly because children have a tendency to blow things out of proportion, misunderstand things that they hear adults say, and get extremely stressed and even frightened when their parents argue. If it happens a lot in our homes, we’re hurting our kids’ sense of security and peace. It can make it difficult for us to be good examples of love, joy, peace, patience, and all of those other fruits of the spirit that are generally not on our radar in the middle of a marital argument. Unless we are excellent communicators, our arguments can end up being examples of how not to solve conflict and how not to treat people you love.
Plus, most things we argue about as adults are adult issues, and not suitable for the kids to be in on. We shouldn’t put children in the position of taking sides or in trying to decide who is right and who is wrong. Arguing in front of them hurts their spiritual development because our marriage should be a picture to them of the kind of love that Christ has for us. The Bible makes it clear that this is the purpose of marriage on this Earth. So, we should strive to make our marriages examples of sacrificial love.
Next week we’ll look at three more ways that we may be causing spiritual harm in our children. Please know that I’m not trying to induce guilt or to discourage. The point of thinking through things like this to seek the Lord and see how He may have us grow in our parenting and in our Christian life. He is with us and will help us as we navigate the sometimes confusing world of raising kids in our current age.